Classic bridal portrait denver

Why Denver Wedding Planning Kinda Sucks, and How You Can Deal

Your wedding is kind of like the capstone project of your single life. The Denver wedding planning? That’s all the tedious hours of research, criticism, confusion, panic, existential crises, and occasional joy that leads up to your final project.

Here’s the difference: capstone projects aren’t supposed to be the most joyful time of your life. So when you feel crappy working on your project, you kinda shrug and think, “Yeah, well, that’s just how it goes!”

But when it comes to your Denver wedding planning? It’s different.

Classic bridal portrait denver

Why wedding planning is hard:

First of all, a wedding isn’t really necessary.

You’ll be just as married if you go down to the courthouse and elope. You decide to have a wedding because you want one – it’s for fun. Which makes you think planning will also be fun, right? In fact, you SHOULD be feeling grateful you even get to have a wedding, right?

So, when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it’s easy to beat yourself up. I should be enjoying this! You may say to yourself. This is a HAPPY time, remember?! But there’s so much more to it.

This brings me to my second point:

Unless you’re a professional wedding planner, you have basically no experience.

Which means you’re doing it all for the first time. So, on top of planning likely the most formal event of your life, you really don’t know what you’re doing. And you’re supposed to be happy the entire time.

Lastly, let’s be real: weddings stir up the family drama.

There are lots of uncommunicated expectations floating around from distant cousins, your college roommate’s +1, your parents, and maybe even your future life partner. Weddings just push a lot of buttons all around. Planning the wedding can bring all that stuff out of the woodwork.

It would be one thing if planning your wedding was ALL you were doing. But on top of that, you’re living your regular life: working, going to school, walking your dogs, spending too much time watching Netflix, exercising.

arrowhead golf course wedding

Look, this isn’t to say that wedding planning is some kind of a tragedy. It’s just that it’s much more stressful than we may think.

So here are my tips for dealing with Denver wedding planning stress. I wish someone would have told me these when I was planning my wedding!

Lionsgate wedding chandelier barn

How to deal with wedding planning:

It doesn’t have to be perfect.

Seriously, sometimes it’s better just to pick something than lament over all the roads untraveled. I’m not saying to just not care or be haphazard. But sometimes you have to trust your instinct, make a choice, and move on to the next thing. Second guessing is not your friend. I promise, all anyone is going to remember is what an amazing time they had – not if the centerpieces had those extra tea lights.

Give yourself some grace.

Behind on your timeline you downloaded from The Knot? It’ll be fine. Upset that someone made a crappy comment about your dress? Are you frustrated that you care what they think? That’s OK, too. Wedding planning is a whole new world to you. With anything so big and so new, you’re bound to have some stressed out moments when you’re NOT that perfectly glowing grateful bride. Lighten up on yourself, re-adjust your attitude, and get back to it.

Think of the big picture.

When you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, imagine what your day will feel like. I know, this is tough – maybe even impossible. Weddings are just one of those things you can’t truly understand the importance of until after it passes. But as someone who was very skeptical about having a wedding, I can tell you it was truly an amazing experience. You’re with all your favorite people (for the most part), celebrating your love. When in life does that happen?! Answer? Never. It’ll be worth it – I promise.

Colorado wedding

So, there ya go! I know a lot of times weddings are portrayed kinda like that scene in Cinderella where the woodland creatures are helping her make the perfect gown. And even though they’re certainly magical in some ways, that’s not the reality most of the time while you’re planning.

Get a massage, go to yoga, blast your favorite music, go out dancing – whatever you need to do to blow off some steam in the process. Stick with it – I promise it’ll all be worth it!

Have you planned a wedding? Were you surprised by the stress of it all? How did you deal? Tell me in the comments!

And for more tips, photos, and pugs, make sure to follow me on Instagram – can’t wait to see you there!

melissa hirsch photography instagram


  1. Sarah

    Oh yes girl yes! Preach! I specially love give yourself Grace I feel like nobody gives them selves any race when they’re planning these huge events this information is golden.


  2. Kathryn

    These are such great points! Such helpful advice for brides. It’s unfortunate that weddings bring out the family drama, yet definitely true!


  3. Laura Smith

    Amen! So much yes to all of this! I planned my entire wedding myself and I have been kicking myself for it ever since. I wish I had known these things years ago so I could have saved myself a lot of unnecessary stress.


  4. Alyssa Bouma

    there is so much good advice here!! my favorite thing you said is “it doesn’t have to be perfect” SO TRUE and so hard to remember!


  5. Jennifer M Outlaw

    This is some really great advice. What a good read. I don’t know how may brides I have to remind that no matter what happens or doesn’t happen at the end of the day you are going to be married to the love of your life and that’s all that really matters.


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